“Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep the postmen from their appointed rounds,” has for years been the unofficial slogan of the postmen. Recently though, an internal memo with letterhead of Postmaster General John E. Potter announced that the unofficial slogan has been officially changed to “Why not just email it?”

The memo cited a myriad of reasons centered around getting postmen off dangerous, hoodlum-infested streets, genetically engineered dogs, and even environmental reasons such as conserving paper and temperatures that exceed the recommended temperature range of Segway personal transportation units.

Industry insiders are also speculating that the move is in response to employees from the younger generation who see walking and delivering physical letters as “plain stupid, brosky.”

There was also an image sent out with the memo: