As the reality of California’s first-ever furloughs reverberated through the state last week with 200,000 workers staying home on unpaid leave, chTONGUEeek has learned that speed-of-service metrics declined a shocking 0.21%. While questions have already started to mount about how long Californians can reasonably be expected to deal with such a slow down in exchange for savings of “merely tens of millions of dollars” per day, our special correspondent has also learned that customer satisfaction ratings have actually increased by 274%. As a guy sitting on a park bench explained recently: Continued »

California’s potential recreational-drug-fueled bailout has caught the attention of high level consulting and management firms as a plausible strategy for companies to adopt to weather the economic downturn. Responding quickly and to such advice, edible matter conglomerate Kraft Foods has released a viral video to YouTube, one that aims to educate children as young as five on the joys of inhaling Nitrous Oxide, the pressurized gas that allows consumers to easily spray whipped cream over their favorite dishes. The move is being heralded by analysts as a “brilliant recasting of an established brand offering into one that creates and ensnares a new demographic.” While the ad isn’t overt, industry insiders claim that “children are savvy and will understand the value proposition, all the cool kids are doing it.”

The viral advertisement video in question:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs]

When asked for commentary, a Kraft spokesman said that this campaign was synergy at it’s best, and that they were able to borrow internal advertising executives who were specialized in targeting children from Kraft’s former parent company, Philip Morris.