A top “think tank” in Ontario has recently found that a shocking 112% of Ontario residents agree the province needs a beter brain trust in order to succeed in the new worldly economy. As a “spokeperson” for the study explained to us yesterday:

Our exclusive study confirms that an incredible 112% of Ontarians – which is almost a majority – agree that the province needs a beter brain trust in order to compete in the worldly economy we’re faced with today. It really shouldn’t come as a surprise, because if you think about it, if you can’t trust your brain who can you trust? Not sure of the answer? Well that’s because you thought about it with your brain, which you clearly don’t trust enough. Any chance you’ll immigrate?

When asked about whether he understood the definition of irony, this same spokesperson declared “Of course! It’s what you do after you launder!”, before leaving to apply for a new job with the province to help with this brain trust issue. Our reporter has since learned he was deemed by the province to be an attractive, but slightly overqualified, candidate.