Posts Tagged ‘banks’


Classic Cheek: Local man accidentally purchases bank
March 30th, 2009

(Editor’s Note: originally posted November 2008). When Atlanta native Jim Herman went to deposit his $227 pay check on Friday, he thought his weekend would be just like any other – “Two buckets of chicken, a few cases of Bud, and a little something for whatever bill was most overdue.” Ten minutes later, and much to his surprise, Jim became the new owner of the 2nd largest bank in America.

“Yeah, I’m still not quite sure I understand what happened” a shaken, somewhat jubilant, and very hungry Jim reported yesterday. “I’d heard a bunch of stories on some sort of liquidity and capitalization problem in the ol’ banking system, but didn’t really think it affected me – I know at least 27 different state capitals, and really don’t want to drink anything at the bank anyway. Frankly, I just wanted my chicken, some beer, and some electricity to warm up that chicken and cool down that beer. But when I pulled out my check, all of the sudden everyone was going bat-shit crazy. Some portly dude came out and told me my $227 now represented all the money in the bank, and said I could have the damn thing if I wanted it. I’d always wanted to own my own business again – ever since the incident with the squirrel kind of knee capped the small engine repair thing – and I was a pretty good adder back in the day, so I figured why not? Let’s give this banking thing a shot.”

Continued »

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Cheeky on YouTube: Russia finds a new way to ’stimulate’ savings
March 27th, 2009

Research indicates 94% of male customers have changed their savings habits to depositing $5 every 5 minutes /per song, depending on which comes first.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7qE3Qg9EHc&feature=haxa_popt00us02]

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In other news from UBS, a lack of rain may lead to less puddles
February 13th, 2009

The rich dividends at Canada’s big banks look safe, but further substantial erosion in the banks’ earnings base would put those dividends at risk this year, UBS Securities Canada Inc. said Friday. In related news, chTONGUEeek is reporting that financial institutions like UBS Securities could significantly improve their balance sheets by ridding themselves of highly-paid people stating findings that are blatently obvious.

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