After suffering from a brief bout of depression after his wife of 15 years divorced him because of “his penchant for doing household chores“, a German man’s mood has been lifted thanks to the reciept of 27,564,678 seperate marriage proposals from around the world. In response to the millions of female voices around the world asking “what the hell were you thinking?”, the German woman has recently went on the offensive telling reporters “that this wasn’t the only reason she divorced him” – with the regular home cooked dinners, six-figure income, and abnormally large penis being cited as other “irreconcible differences.”