As new reports continue to indicate that more and more students are failing to learn the standard math curriculum, Education Minister Ikno Wmymath has set an ambitious goal: to have 100% of students achieve above-average scores in 2010. As Ikno recently explained:

I believe – and you can quote me on this – that the purpose of schools is to educate our children. We have not always succeeded on this front, at least as good as we could. Hey, I’m a poet and don’t know it! Though I suppose that by saying it, I indicate that I know it, so if you transcribe this please make sure to note I’m a poet that knows it. Wait – where was I? Oh right. Educating the kids – can you pass me some lids? Shazaam! Um, I mean one of the most obvious failures of our system has been the continual decline in math scores over the last, I think it’s fair to say, 12,000 years. We plan to change that in the next few months, and change it dramatically. It may sound ambitious, but I know that we can do it – my goal is to have every student in our district achieve a math score above the district average. I will not rest until this objective is achieved, or until afternoon nap time, whichever comes first.

When asked if he had any thoughts about how the median plays into this, Wmymath indicated that students should stay off of highways all together, particularly in this weather, before wrapping up the press conference.