In an attempt to assure jittery investors that BCE is still a good investment after the OTPP led buyout fell through, the Telecom Behemoth annouced their new growth strategy today: bi-annual aborted takeover attempts. As company spokesman Joseph Diablo explained to us yesterday, “the $1.2 Billion break up fee BCE is trying to get from the OTPP equals a solid 20% of our 2007 earnings. Any way you slice it, that’s extraordinary growth that deserves a high multiple. So investors should be pleased to note that BCE will enhancing our business model by focusing on achieving a minimum of two aborted takeover attempts per year, into perpetuity. Every attractive looking offer that hasn’t a chance in hell of being finalized will be considered.” When questioned on whether offering “better products and services” might be a superior growth strategy, Diablo replied “That’s an extremely interesting idea, and we’d like to talk to you about it further once you submit your binding leveraged buyout offer.”